Monthly Archives: January 2016

LOVE IS BETTER WHEN YOU LAUGH TOGETHER!

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Image courtesy: http://www.familyfriendpoems.

 

“We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh”

~Agnes Repplier

 

 

Laughter or GSOH (Good Sense Of Humor) is a very important ingredient in any close relationship. In matters of the heart, it is more so and cannot be overlooked at any cost.

 

Humor often serves as an ice-breaker. It helps in making two people comfortable with each other. In the starting phase of any romantic relationship, a sense of humor helps a person to relax in the presence of a new person by reducing awkwardness, stress or tension. This results in speeding up the process of closer psychological bonding. A person looks forward to meeting the partner who is jovial and witty in anticipation of good and cheerful times together.

 

Attraction, admiration and appreciation can bring two people together in the beginning but  humor injects new life into the relationship and  ‘keeps’ them together and makes the relationship stable and long-lasting.

 

It is said that ‘A woman will always love a man who makes her laugh’ and rightly so. Seems like women instinctively understand the value of a witty suitor and are hardwired to appreciate humor.

 

When two people can often share a good laugh together, this shows they are intellectually and emotionally on the same page. Also there are no pretensions what so-ever. It means you don’t have to be always on an artificial “alert” mode in the front of your partner but can relax and not hesitate to show your goofy-side sometimes and have fun.

 

The resulting comfortable environment leads to open-hearted, free,uninhibited interactions filled with joy. It helps in bringing the couple closer. Therefore, it is no coincidence that the couples who ‘laugh together’, stay together. They are more accepting of each others’ mistakes and forgive readily.

 

In love relationships, humor also helps to develop trust in the partners as it is noticed that when someone can indulge in impromptu, unplanned sessions of good laughter, this indicates that he is not calculative, not hypocritical or has not put on a false persona. He is not afraid of showing his true nature and self. This builds a lot of trust, which is the most important thing in any relationship. Without it no relationship can move forward or stay stable even if all other positive aspects are over-abundant.

 

The person who enjoys a good laugh is stress-free and helps in bringing the stress level of the other person down. Take lack of humor as ‘red flags’ in any relationship. If your instincts warn you,trust them!

 

Laughter is contagious. The good cheer spreads to the other partner as well, making both partners calm, happy and positive minded. They can make light of virtually every situation. This keeps the relationship fresh and lifts your spirits.

 

When one has a good sense of humor, it often means that the person does not take himself extra seriously and can enjoy the funnier side of life.Humor helps to cope with the ups and downs of worldly existence .

 

On a personal note, I remember there had been this particular difficult phase when I was ill and had to undergo surgery, the continuous good cheer and sense of humor of my partner acted like a soothing balm on my distressed nerves. It helped greatly in keeping the atmosphere light. I was able to cope with the fear and pain in a better way to overcome the challenge with the constant supportive dose of  his witty jokes and one-liners.This helped to divert my mind away from the problem and suffering.

 

There could also be a scientific basis for this as medical research has proven that “Sometimes, just lowering the stress level of the body can help immensely with the perception of pain.” Laughter lowers the stress level and also helps in release of natural pain killers in blood.

 

Based on my experience,I can say-When someone takes care of you with a smile on his face along with musical strains of laughter in his voice, ‘REJOICE’ as this is the greatest gift you will ever receive.

 

It is said that “HAPPINESS isn’t a destination. It is present in the journey.” Any relationship is a journey. Laughter makes this journey much more worthwhile, happy and long-lasting as new bonds are formed and amends are made on the way when you have funny anecdotes to share with each other.

Learning to laugh a little more just may save a relationship and cement it forever.

Keep the punch-lines coming!

 

 

“This post is a part of #LoveAndLaughter activity at BlogAdda in association with Caratlane.”

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RELIVING THOSE MOMENTS!

If I Could Turn Back Time

If you could return to the past to relive a part of your life, either to experience the wonderful bits again, or to do something over, which part of you life would you return to? Why? #DailyPrompt

 

Some moments become the most positive influence in our life which we want to revisit again and again.We cherish the lessons and gifts these moments brought us- forever.

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Sometimes unfounded fears are the reasons which stop us from taking those chances that you lament later and revisit those moments once in a while .

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We fail to understand why certain events happened the way they did.We  tend to analyze and over-analyze them looking for some plausible conclusions and reasons even after decades have passed by.

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Was it all really so beautiful as we visualize it in our mind’s eye after ages or is it so only in the illusions we build as a result of filtering mechanism applied to our stock of memories .

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As we grow and become more mature,we are armed with new understanding of issues providing us new view-points.Then, are our interpretations about the past accurate and exact or influenced by selective perceptual defense mechanism.Thus presenting before us the rosy visions we want to imagine?

Perhaps yes ; Perhaps no!

Image courtesy: internet sources

If I Could Turn Back Time

From Despair to Hope- An Insightful Experience

It was the first day of the last month of the year 2015. The sky was heavily cast; it had been raining intermittently over the past few weeks. The previous month had seen 17 days straight of rain much more than the normal. No one in Chennai was in a mood to welcome anymore rains.

 

The sun seemed to be trapped behind the strong shadows of heavily laden clouds ever trying to break free and smile with its sunshine.

The rain which had started as a drizzle in the morning hours soon turned into a heavy downpour, gaining more vigour by each passing hour. By afternoon, the constant rain had caused water-logging on most roads and parts of the city. Unprecedented rain brought the city to a halt. Evening saw the rain literally crashing down from the skies with unforeseen rage and fury.

 

The rain that started on December 1 continued till December 2. By midnight land in more than 4km radius around the Adyar River, which flows through the heart of Chennai had got submerged under water. The situation was similar in most other parts of the city, especially near the overflowing lakes, ponds, and rivulets. The excessive rain caught many unaware, asleep and helpless. It became a struggle to stay afloat and safe.

 

Power and communication networks were down as most power stations were inundated with water. The only sources of information were the humble radio sets. Rain had broken 100 years record in those 24 hours. It was a dreadful night. Sound of raindrops had always been very soothing and calming to me, but the rain that night may have permanently ruined it for me. After the non-stop 24 hours, sound of the rain which was always musical for me, felt like harsh lashes on my eardrums. I had never seen rain in such a furious form. It was no doubt nature in one of its angriest moods.

 

Thousands of people were stranded, flights and trains were cancelled, streets were water-logged, flooded hospitals had to be evacuated, many lost all their belongings and had to move to temporary shelters. The destruction around was scary, painful and demoralizing. Normal life as we know it was totally thrown out of gear – No power, communication, drinking water, milk, food, fuel supply, lives lost, homes flooded, people stranded. Some had to gather themselves on the rooftops to save themselves from the raging water below.

There was a sense of gloom and despair all around brought about by nature’s fury. The rain darkened not only the city of Chennai, but also the hopes of its people.

 

But soon, the helplessness and despair gave way to courage and determination.

On the brighter side, nature’s most furious form brought the most humane side of Chennaites to the fore. People came together in most commendable ways- the Hindus, Muslims, Christians, rich, poor, north or south Indian all came together to help their fellow beings. The citizens rose like a phoenix from the ashes (here, water) to face the challenge.

 

Instead of waiting for outside help from administration or other sources and wasting critical time, almost everyone started doing their individual share by providing shelter, food, water, clothes, and medicines to neighbours, even strangers to save lives. Everyone worked with single-minded vision to help and rescue those who were suffering and needed help. The volunteers worked hard to reach those in need. The emotion of selfless service and compassion kept them moving in-spite of the bruises, cuts and swollen feet caused by being in stagnated dirty water for 18-20 hours. The youth of the city came out in large numbers to help; they risked their own lives to fulfill the call of their conscience.

 

All boundaries of religion, caste, wealth, or language were broken by the spirit of humanity. People were offered shelter and food in temples, mosques, and churches without any discrimination or bias. Regular people offered food and shelter to strangers they had never known before the calamity.

I can recount one such incident myself.

When we had only a litre of drinking water left, a neighbourhood grocer who had already run out of stock somehow managed to procure a can of water and provided it to us at 10pm in night, that too at the normal cost. He was not bound by any duty except humanity. He did not discriminate in helping even though we were North Indians or did not speak his language.

 

As a society, Chennaites came together and stood united to face the worst rains of the century. People who had networks helped others by contacting rescue teams and mass mobilizing relief efforts through social media groups. Relief camps saw common people in huge numbers coming out to volunteer for any help; forgetting and overcoming their own struggles, loss and misery.

 

It was the common unknown citizens who turned out to be the real heroes because they were able to overcome adversities and show courage. Their helping and self less ‘never-say-die’ spirit needs to be saluted.

 

The overriding all – encompassing emotion was of brotherhood and oneness of all, desire to help fellow brethren. The Only incentive was contentment and satisfaction in their hearts. At the end of the day, we are all humans with the inherent goodness in each one of us.

Some great stories of courage, humanity, selflessness and altruism were presented before the world during these times, which will forever keep us encouraging and give us hope in the coming future.

In today’s world, when we more often hear the stories of hate, violence, intolerance, greed, this display of generosity and compassion is highly reassuring and worth emulating for everyone.

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Personally, this was a learning and very inspiring experience for me. Few of the practical lessons I will always remember from 2015 are:

1] To be resilient, adaptive, brave and face all struggles and challenges in life with courage and determination. My confidence to fight adversities has increased by learning from these brave hearts.

2] My hope for a better world has amplified. All is not gloomy. There still are good souls around us who care and have empathy for others. Let us all strive to encourage and increase this tribe.

3] My trust in fellow humans in my city increased manifold, thus helping to enhance the sense of safety and security I feel here. There is an assurance that I am surrounded by some good humans who will help if the need arises and not remain mute spectators. This also encourages me to do whatever I can for the benefit of the society.

4] To be optimistic. Even in the most difficult circumstances, one should not let negative thinking shatter one’s confidence and hope, leading to impaired judgement. In such times, keep yourself occupied in some constructive activity. Negative thoughts overpower us when our mind is vacant. You can overcome all difficulties and emerge victorious in life. Never give up hope. You can do it!

5] Respect nature. No one can mess with nature. We have to replan the infrastructure and stop the illegal construction which is wrecking havoc on natural water bodies. We all have to learn to live in harmony with nature. It is now not a matter of choice but urgent need and the only way ahead.

6] Not to have any sense of false pride or conceit. In front of Mother Nature’s fury, all were equally helpless. All the material possession or luxuries can’t give any true happiness and contentment compared to the satisfaction received by helping others. We should strive to remain connected with our inner core which carries the inherent goodness called the ‘divine spark’ in spiritual parlance, because what ultimately helped us to surmount all difficulties and overcome the devastating event were the collective basic human values.

I look forward to 2016 with renewed trust and hope for a better world where we all can co-exist peacefully in harmony with nature.

“I’m sharing my #TalesOf2015 with BlogAdda.”

 

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