“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love! It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It’s an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person without possessing the other,without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be happy as much as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken away by the other, because it is not given by the other.”
~Osho
To let this existential truth manifest in our lives, we need to have good connection with our inner self first, only then can one truly connect with others at the core level. This helps in building a solid foundation.
Try to understand yourself at all levels and discover your true inner self. Other’s view about you are just assumptions. No one knows you more than you yourself. Take time to get to know your subconscious self and decipher it. This can be achieved through constant awareness and deep meditation.
Who is the real ‘you’ behind yourself,Try to know this!
And then only can you Rebuild a bridge to that reality that resides deep within you, which gets hidden due to the constant suppression by negative thinking , stress and worrying.
“The desire for connection with the Divine and our formless inner self is at the foundation of all desire for human connection.”
~Donna Goddard
What are your views? Do share them in the comment section below !
“We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh”
~Agnes Repplier
Laughter or GSOH (Good Sense Of Humor) is a very important ingredient in any close relationship. In matters of the heart, it is more so and cannot be overlooked at any cost.
Humor often serves as an ice-breaker. It helps in making two people comfortable with each other. In the starting phase of any romantic relationship, a sense of humor helps a person to relax in the presence of a new person by reducing awkwardness, stress or tension. This results in speeding up the process of closer psychological bonding. A person looks forward to meeting the partner who is jovial and witty in anticipation of good and cheerful times together.
Attraction, admiration and appreciation can bring two people together in the beginning but humor injects new life into the relationship and ‘keeps’ them together and makes the relationship stable and long-lasting.
It is said that ‘A woman will always love a man who makes her laugh’ and rightly so. Seems like women instinctively understand the value of a witty suitor and are hardwired to appreciate humor.
When two people can often share a good laugh together, this shows they are intellectually and emotionally on the same page. Also there are no pretensions what so-ever. It means you don’t have to be always on an artificial “alert” mode in the front of your partner but can relax and not hesitate to show your goofy-side sometimes and have fun.
The resulting comfortable environment leads to open-hearted, free,uninhibited interactions filled with joy. It helps in bringing the couple closer. Therefore, it is no coincidence that the couples who ‘laugh together’, stay together. They are more accepting of each others’ mistakes and forgive readily.
In love relationships, humor also helps to develop trust in the partners as it is noticed that when someone can indulge in impromptu, unplanned sessions of good laughter, this indicates that he is not calculative, not hypocritical or has not put on a false persona. He is not afraid of showing his true nature and self. This builds a lot of trust, which is the most important thing in any relationship. Without it no relationship can move forward or stay stable even if all other positive aspects are over-abundant.
The person who enjoys a good laugh is stress-free and helps in bringing the stress level of the other person down. Take lack of humor as ‘red flags’ in any relationship. If your instincts warn you,trust them!
Laughter is contagious. The good cheer spreads to the other partner as well, making both partners calm, happy and positive minded. They can make light of virtually every situation. This keeps the relationship fresh and lifts your spirits.
When one has a good sense of humor, it often means that the person does not take himself extra seriously and can enjoy the funnier side of life.Humor helps to cope with the ups and downs of worldly existence .
On a personal note, I remember there had been this particular difficult phase when I was ill and had to undergo surgery, the continuous good cheer and sense of humor of my partner acted like a soothing balm on my distressed nerves. It helped greatly in keeping the atmosphere light. I was able to cope with the fear and pain in a better way to overcome the challenge with the constant supportive dose of his witty jokes and one-liners.This helped to divert my mind away from the problem and suffering.
There could also be a scientific basis for this as medical research has proven that “Sometimes, just lowering the stress level of the body can help immensely with the perception of pain.” Laughter lowers the stress level and also helps in release of natural pain killers in blood.
Based on my experience,I can say-When someone takes care of you with a smile on his face along with musical strains of laughter in his voice, ‘REJOICE’ as this is the greatest gift you will ever receive.
It is said that “HAPPINESS isn’t a destination. It is present in the journey.” Any relationship is a journey. Laughter makes this journey much more worthwhile, happy and long-lasting as new bonds are formed and amends are made on the way when you have funny anecdotes to share with each other.
Learning to laugh a little more just may save a relationship and cement it forever.
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